Thursday, 21 April 2011

For My Mind...

Just opposite a bus-stop, not too far from my home, there's a fastfood outlet "Sweet Sensation". They've been operating there as far back as I can remember, and they haven't delivered many surprises over the years, so you might understand my surprise and delight when, one day, they put up a sign saying "We've got swagger". I am someone who loves trying out new things, so I jumped out of the bus I was in without shouting 'owa' and I ran straight into the fastfood joint. I went straight to the counter and waited in line for my turn, eagerly anticipating a taste of some 'swagger'.
After about ten minutes of waiting, I was finally standing in front of the counter girl.
"Good afternoon sir. What can I get you?", came the sweet voice of the pretty girl.
"Please give me some swagger", I answered in my sweetest voice.
I don't know what was going on in that tiny head of hers because she just looked at me as if I had just told her to go and write Jamb or something! All I asked for was a serving of swagger! Finally, after what seemed to me to be an eternity, her tiny mouth opened and she coyly asked me; "I beg you pardon sir?".
I understood at that moment that not only did this young girl have an I.Q. problem, she also had a hearing problem! So, I took my time to speak my words carefully and loudly.
The dumb girl went immediately to call a colleague of hers - one obviously older - to attend to me. I was relieved - I'd finally get someone with some sense to cater to me. I went on to explain to this woman that I had tried to explain severally to this girl that I wanted some swagger. The woman told me that they had no such thing, but when I insisted and an argument ensued, one of the male staffers had to come to the rescue. He asked me to sit down and started monkeying about - he started to rap, beat his chest and sing! I wondered what all of this was about, and then I demanded to see the manager.
You wouldn't believe the shame that came over me when the manager explained my stupidity to me! Needless to say, I stuck my face in my bag and walked out of the restaurant. Immediately I stepped out, I was jumped by an angry bus conductor, waiting to collect his money!